Now Comes The Mistress

I’mma be honest.  Getting your house ready to sell is a gigantic load of horseshit.  We’ve already passed our self-imposed deadline by almost 3 months.  I think we HIGHLY underestimated the amount of work involved. Or perhaps it’s just me?  It’s easy when people tell you, “oh, just throw a coat of paint on the […]

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Nothing To Get Hung About

My kids tend to put me on a pedestal sometimes. I’ve learned to just smile and go with it over the years. I know I will never live up to it, but they are going to see me however they do regardless. Sometimes, though, it’s hard not to smile. When I overhear them say things […]

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Yay Naked!

When you’re short, you have to dress differently. Especially if you’re short and not tiny. Meaning, not itty bitty. Meaning, you actually have meat on your bones. Well, really, it doesn’t matter. Because you basically have two choices. 1) Dress like a dirty slut to prove you are not a child. OR. 2) Dress like […]

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They Have Never…

On this, the eve of my first son’s first prom- for which, I must say, he was sorely under-prepared- I have come up with a list of shit my kids have never done. This is the one you’ve been waiting for! All the shit those poor, awkward, forgotten, and sadly under-prepared homeschoolers have missed out […]

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Dear Toes, We Cool?

Dear hair- I know I never fix you. And for that, I am not sorry. I like you the way you are. You are clean and brushed. Okay, fine, you’re clean. Be grateful for what you have and leave me alone. Oh, and sorry for trying to cut you myself the other day. Actually, no […]

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My Wild Horses

It’s kind of funny, actually. Considering whatever image I portray of myself as a mother, to think that I am actually kind of strict. Well. I don’t think strict is the right word. Let me see if I can explain. A lot of times, I think parents focus on the wrong things. When I hear […]

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Something On Empty

When it comes to understanding what my body is and is not capable of doing, I am stunningly stupid. I mean, I honestly don’t know. I really don’t. Even looking back on it, months later, I still don’t think I was doing anything that should have caused a pulled hamstring. I don’t think I was […]

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The Suffragettes Would Be Ashamed

I have a tendency tooo …….. hmmm….. how shall I put this….. underestimate things. You might frequently hear me say things like, “Oh, that’s no big deal!” Or. “You’re such a crybaby, the bone’s only poking out a little bit!” Or. “Whatever, it was only one tiny little ticket!” Or. “Ok, so, your flight leaves […]

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Fiscal Fallacies

I have spent a pretty fat amount of time teaching my little bundles about money. Not teaching them to worry constantly about it. Not teaching them that it buys love or happiness. Not teaching them that the world revolves around it. But teaching them that its importance lies more in what you do with it, […]

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Refractals From That Day

I was at the commissary that morning. Or the grocery store, for the non-military types. I was about halfway done shopping when I overheard a couple of people say the entrance to Ft. Bragg had been closed. Slightly interesting, but not really. Then I began to hear things other than music on the speakers in […]

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On Beaten Paths and Private Roads

Every parent has a few. Even if they’re imaginary, fueled by our own self-doubt and paranoid imagination. We all have them. The folks who would love to see you crash and burn. Especially if you have chosen a path far off the beaten one. Made decisions, allowances, affordances, plans, or simply expressed ideas that skirt […]

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Ketchup Forsooth!

Shit just has not been amenable to blogging of late. You know, busy things and whatnot. Running has necessarily been reduced to elliptical only until September 25th. Stress fracture and all that nonsense. Bah. It sounds like a bunch of fuckquackery to me. Yet I abstain. I’m getting fat, I tell ya! I can FEEL […]

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