Tomorrow, I will be Today, I have been a nonsmoker for a whole year. No cheating. Cold turkey. In the middle of doing yoga on a Tuesday. That is not to say I haven’t craved it. Oh, I have. Just the other day, I said “Why the hell did I quit smoking? That was pretty […]

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A Couple Stuff

I’m waiting for the panic to set in. The “Oh my gawd, we’re actually doing this!” panic. We interviewed two different real estate agents last week. Lemme just say. Disrespecting your competition with a smarmy grin on your face when they are not there to defend themselves is just sleazy. Yeah. That was the first […]

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I feel like dog shit. Well. Aside from the fact that I physically feel like dog shit, I also feel like dog shit because I have not written anything creatively in a long, long time. The various and sundry quips on efficient and proficient writing from Stephen King’s book “On Writing” are monotonously playing through […]

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The Bet

Okay, okay. Some of you may call it a “bribe.” Semantics. It is what it is. Here it is. I bet Jake that he couldn’t go a month with only zero-calorie drinks and NO soda (not even diet soda, not even zero-calorie diet soda) and NO fast food (including sit-down restaurants and the nasty Wal-Mart […]

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Sir Fetus and the Great Escape

It happened a week after Sarge and I left Korea in ’95. We were in Labor and Delivery at Martin Army Hospital in Columbus, Georgia for what was supposed to be a routine prenatal checkup. A week prior, I was in 121 Hospital in Yongsan, hooked up to a machine; 32 weeks pregnant, 18 years […]

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Take A Deep Breath

The first thing I ever pierced was my nose. In 10th grade. With a sewing machine needle. I had to do it so that my mother wouldn’t find out, so I did it in the shower. It took me 3 days to get the needle all the way through. Then I got married. Had babies. […]

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21 Days

For the next 21 days, I will be playing the role of lonely Army wife pining away for her scruffy, broad-shouldered soldier. First of all, let’s be clear.  Twenty-one days ain’t shit.  It’s like a long weekend for us.  After 4 deployments, I laugh in the face of a 21-day TDY.  I always have mixed […]

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