My opinion on everything
Tomorrow, I will be Today, I have been a nonsmoker for a whole year. No cheating. Cold turkey. In the middle of doing yoga on a Tuesday. That is not to say I haven’t craved it. Oh, I have. Just the other day, I said “Why the hell did I quit smoking? That was pretty […]
Continue reading BreatheI’m waiting for the panic to set in. The “Oh my gawd, we’re actually doing this!” panic. We interviewed two different real estate agents last week. Lemme just say. Disrespecting your competition with a smarmy grin on your face when they are not there to defend themselves is just sleazy. Yeah. That was the first […]
Continue reading A Couple StuffHey. Did you know I have sleep issues? That’s a joke. Of course you do. It’s one of the silly little number of subjects I cycle through on this blog. I’ve had sleep issues since I was a kid. Most of the time, I just didn’t. Sleep. At all. For several years, I had a […]
Continue reading When It’s Time To Go Night-NightI feel like dog shit. Well. Aside from the fact that I physically feel like dog shit, I also feel like dog shit because I have not written anything creatively in a long, long time. The various and sundry quips on efficient and proficient writing from Stephen King’s book “On Writing” are monotonously playing through […]
Continue reading UnwritableOkay, okay. Some of you may call it a “bribe.” Semantics. It is what it is. Here it is. I bet Jake that he couldn’t go a month with only zero-calorie drinks and NO soda (not even diet soda, not even zero-calorie diet soda) and NO fast food (including sit-down restaurants and the nasty Wal-Mart […]
Continue reading The BetIt’s kind of sickening. The utter joy I get from being such an annoying braggadocio when it comes to the ages and stages of my chirrins. Regardless of the fact that I was a baby with a baby, or because of it, I am now a 36-year-old woman who has a kid who will be […]
Continue reading Admission of Blatant PretentionI’m going to let you know in advance that all I am going to do here is pimp out my fucktastic kids once again. So, if you haven’t already had enough of me here or on Facebook, then keep reading. Jake and his band jammed at an open mic night last night. The fact that […]
Continue reading The Part Where She Brags About Her Kids AgainIt happened a week after Sarge and I left Korea in ’95. We were in Labor and Delivery at Martin Army Hospital in Columbus, Georgia for what was supposed to be a routine prenatal checkup. A week prior, I was in 121 Hospital in Yongsan, hooked up to a machine; 32 weeks pregnant, 18 years […]
Continue reading Sir Fetus and the Great EscapeNot just as brothers, but as friends. They are proud of each others accomplishments. They brag about one another. I know that may sound ordinary to some of you, but for me, that is just remarkable. My sisters and I weren’t really like that growing up. And I will admit, it was ALLLLL because of […]
Continue reading It dawns on me. My kids like each other.So what do you give an up-and-coming 18-year-old who is already spoiled beyond belief? Apparently, you give him concert tickets. And that is what I gave him. Three tickets to the Vans Warped Tour. He and Sarge went last year. This year, Jake took his girl and his brother. Being that the venue was 3 […]
Continue reading “Pls be Careful!!!” – My Shining Moment of MotherhoodThe first thing I ever pierced was my nose. In 10th grade. With a sewing machine needle. I had to do it so that my mother wouldn’t find out, so I did it in the shower. It took me 3 days to get the needle all the way through. Then I got married. Had babies. […]
Continue reading Take A Deep BreathFor the next 21 days, I will be playing the role of lonely Army wife pining away for her scruffy, broad-shouldered soldier. First of all, let’s be clear. Twenty-one days ain’t shit. It’s like a long weekend for us. After 4 deployments, I laugh in the face of a 21-day TDY. I always have mixed […]
Continue reading 21 Days