On this, the eve of my first son’s first prom- for which, I must say, he was sorely under-prepared- I have come up with a list of shit my kids have never done.

This is the one you’ve been waiting for! All the shit those poor, awkward, forgotten, and sadly under-prepared homeschoolers have missed out on during their years of being locked in their closets and away from the “real world.”

All sarcasm aside, it is quite amazing to me how much you take for granted when you and/or your kids are/were raised in normal school. So much of it seems like a rite of passage, doesn’t it? Sure, I feel a little twinge of guilt for some things, I’ll not lie. The Easter egg thing is just pure laziness on my part. Same with parties and invitations. I have NEVER (and ever to infinity) been a party-organizing Mom. If it weren’t for Sarge reminding me that not everyone is as fucked up as I am, my kids would have probably never celebrated a single birthday. I’m terrible.

Some of these things I am very happy about, though. Many of them were on purpose. Others are just downright weird. And still others make me laugh at the notion that they are instrumental in preparing our children for adulthood. I think that is what a lot of parents are missing. That there are MANY different, and equally effective, ways of preparing our children for the real world.