Two Turntables and a Microphone

I think I’m tired of people telling me to write a novel. Nope. I’m positive I’m tired of it. I thought I wanted to for a while. It just seemed like the sensible course of action from as far back as grade school. That’s what writers do, yes? I’ve figured something out. My mind doesn’t […]

Continue reading Two Turntables and a Microphone

My Cross To Bear

It is no revelation to many of you that I have a little… ummm…. problem. With my height. I’m sure all of this will be quite redundant for you. So, if you’ve known me since I was a little shit dropping my pencil in Mrs. Shambley’s class, seductively enticing you to look up my dress […]

Continue reading My Cross To Bear

The Way I Roll

I went out last night. Five pleasantly innocuous words grouped together and spoken millions of times in a day. But when they’re applied to Sarge and I, it means something. Especially lately. It might surprise you to know that I don’t talk much. People I went to school with might be peeing their pants and […]

Continue reading The Way I Roll

Whatevah Shall I Do?

Since Sarge is going to be off playing International Man of Mystery, globetrottin’, kissin’ girls, and gettin’ in all sorts of double-OH!-seven, super-top-secret Army shenanigans for the next month (you know, the kind that require spiffy ties, a pair of Oakleys, and a Bowie knife strapped to yer ankle), it’s just going to be me […]

Continue reading Whatevah Shall I Do?


Today, my offering to the blogging community (many of whom are only a fraction of a percentage less narcissistic than celebrities, myself included), is my attempt to turn a pointlessly mean and annoying human being into a saucy-tongued hero using only words, fingers, and a keyboard.  It’s a magic trick. Some people will come away […]

Continue reading Abra-Ca-…Nevermind….

Brain Sludge!

(My junior high band director used to tell me it was my “verbal vomit,” but I prefer brain sludge. It’s less guttural and undigested.) 1. Does anyone actually cook with capers? I bought a jar for a recipe once. I didn’t know what they were. They looked like LeSeur English Peas. I opened the jar […]

Continue reading Brain Sludge!

That Cousin O’ Mine

Just tossing out a guess, but for every…..hmmmm…..let’s say 5 relatively “normal,” functioning members in my family, I have at least 1 who is so far beyond the definition of bizarre that it would require words that have not yet been invented to convey to you their utter and saturating bizarreness. Some of them I’ve […]

Continue reading That Cousin O’ Mine