Take A Deep Breath

The first thing I ever pierced was my nose. In 10th grade. With a sewing machine needle. I had to do it so that my mother wouldn’t find out, so I did it in the shower. It took me 3 days to get the needle all the way through. Then I got married. Had babies. […]

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21 Days

For the next 21 days, I will be playing the role of lonely Army wife pining away for her scruffy, broad-shouldered soldier. First of all, let’s be clear.  Twenty-one days ain’t shit.  It’s like a long weekend for us.  After 4 deployments, I laugh in the face of a 21-day TDY.  I always have mixed […]

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BFF Or Ball and Chain?

Sarge and I went out to eat last night at one of those Japanese steakhouse places. Andrew went to Gramma’s this weekend, so it was Jake, Sarge, and me. We shared a table with a younger couple and their 3 very young children. And I noticed something in retrospect that I find quite sad. See, […]

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Christmas 2.0

We decided to do something a bit different for Christmas this year. This has really been the most difficult Christmas I’ve ever had as far as gift-buying is concerned. The kids are at an age where they don’t care anything about toys anymore. They have all the game systems. If they want something, they do […]

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Hallelujah….. Where’s The Tylenol?

So, yeah. I need to go ahead and make a serious admission. I hate gift-giving holidays. I hate birthdays. I absolutely despise Valentine’s Day. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are completely useless. And…..I hate Christmas……..*GASP* So what gives? Really, it’s one simple concept. The expectation of giving and receiving gifts. For some twisted reason, it […]

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I’m The Lucky One

Today, I am thankful for my friends Rob and Bobby, who can’t be with their beautiful wives and beautiful brand-new daughters because they are busy ensuring the rest of us have a safe place to sleep tonight. Today, I am thankful for the women who miss them terribly, my friends Annette and Monica, who are […]

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Get Happy, Damn it

So you woke up way too late in a piss-poor mood and you wanna know how to get happy? Chill. I got this. Just do what I say and you’ll be whistling the Andy Griffith Show theme song in no time. 1. Turn on those groovy new lamps with the iridescent-colored lamp shades and the […]

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