My kids tend to put me on a pedestal sometimes. I’ve learned to just smile and go with it over the years. I know I will never live up to it, but they are going to see me however they do regardless.
Sometimes, though, it’s hard not to smile. When I overhear them say things to their friends, or conversations with each other, or whatever. They have said some pretty remarkable things that really do make me smile. If it was anyone else but my kids, I would probably have a fucking panic attack knowing that I will never live up to it.
Anyway. Goddamnit. My point. I never seem to be able to get to it. My oldest and I were joking around with each other this morning. You know, the gentle ribbing kind of banter. Well, “gentle” in our house probably takes on a whole different definition than most, but just go with me here.
First, I should probably say that I have had Strawberry Fields in my head since I woke up this morning. Not a normal thing for me. I’m not a huge Beatles fan. I used to be. HUGE. In high school. Not so much now. And I have always been very underwhelmed by Lennon. I know, right? Such blasphemy.
So my kid and I were picking at each other this morning. And he said, “Well at least I haven’t turned our house into the fucking Peace Corps!” I mean, c’mon. If you know anything about anything that has been going on lately with me, it’s fucking funny. And then he said, “You’re just like John fucking Lennon, you know that? Always savin’ the goddamn world and shit!”
This was the same kid that had me on the floor laughing in Wal-Mart yesterday. I questioned the appropriateness of using the word “ruffles” as a name for potato chips, considering when one thinks of ruffles, one thinks of soft things. He responded with, “Well, they might as well call Pringles cows and cows Pringles. And then we can say ‘I’m gonna go eat my cow and milk my pringle.'” It was the milk my pringle part. Flat out. On the floor in Wal-Mart. Laughing my ass off. Two cops walked by and my Hijab-wearing Muslim BFF says “Okay, you know it’s bad when you get eyeballed by the cops instead of me.” More laughing. Then Jake says, “OOh, I got one! A gremlin, a teenager, and a muslim chick walk into a bar…..”
That’s when I found out he calls me a gremlin behind my back.