Today, I am thankful for my friends Rob and Bobby, who can’t be with their beautiful wives and beautiful brand-new daughters because they are busy ensuring the rest of us have a safe place to sleep tonight.

Today, I am thankful for the women who miss them terribly, my friends Annette and Monica, who are spending this day with their precious little girls and thinking of the time when they are old enough to understand that their daddies are super heroes.

Today, I am thankful for my mother, who I am sure is missing her little girls, all 3 of them. I am also thankful she will be here tomorrow to save my sorry ass from what might otherwise be an epic cooking fail.

Today, I am thankful for my little boys, who are big and strong and healthy and smart and have never known hunger, homelessness, war, violence, disease, or death.

Today, I am thankful for a very old friend, one I’ve just recently begun to know again, an amazing woman who is about to become a mother for the first time, a woman who was with me during the darkest time in my life and held me up so I wouldn’t fall. Thank you for being my friend again.

Today, I am thankful for the man who promised to spend the rest of his life with me at an age when neither of us really had any clue as to the magnitude of that promise. If I could go back to the moment we made that promise, knowing what I know now, the good and the bad, I’d say bring it on. You’ve always taken care of me, and I am honored to have the privilege of taking care of you.

Oh, and one more thing. Thanksgiving is dumb and I want my pizza.

The End.