My name is Edward. You can call me Edwarde. Please do. Or you can call me ‘geek beast.’ Because that’s pretty much the coolest thing I’ve ever been called. Ever.

I’m 34 years old, shacked up with my wife in my nice little suburban home at the end of a cul-de-sac with my 2.5 kids, 2 cars, and a mortgage.

Both my kids are teenagers. And boys. And about a foot taller than me. If I wasn’t as vicious as slut spit, I’d have no chance. I blog about this injustice quite often.